In an interview with InStyle, Chrissy Teigen told the world all about her second baby and her postpartum depression. She also opened up about the origins and function of her own online social media persona: “it stops people from coming at me. If you share everything and make fun of yourself, then other people won’t make the joke, because you’ve already made it.”
Sounds exactly right. She even explains her relationship with R&B genius John Legend:
“He is insanely patient and such a dork, and he loves seeing me happy, even if that means watching The Real Housewives of Dallas with me for two and a half hours.”
But, things got more serious when the topic turned to IVF, and the couple’s second child. Teigen started out with twenty embryos, but that number has since dropped to three. In vitro fertilization will allow the last embryo to be placed into Teigen’s womb, following their daughter Luna, the new baby will be in the way in the next few months. There’s no name yet, but the two are working on it.
“I thought I was just being a selfish a—hole,” said Teigen when it came to postpartum depression. “I actually couldn’t move,” she said, explaining that she spent long days doing nothing, the curtains drawn, massaging her sore and swollen joints. It was a mental and physical pain from the dual emptiness and joy of having a child.
“I have really good days and really bad days, and I don’t tend to talk about the really bad days. But I would hate for people to think those days didn’t exist.”
Teigen got even more in-depth in an essay she penned herself in Glamour:
“Getting out of bed to get to set on time was painful. My lower back throbbed; my shoulders—even my wrists—hurt. I didn’t have an appetite. I would go two days without a bite of food, and you know how big of a deal food is for me. One thing that really got me was just how short I was with people.”
“I couldn’t figure out why I was so unhappy. I blamed it on being tired and possibly growing out of the role: “Maybe I’m just not a goofy person anymore. Maybe I’m just supposed to be a mom.”
“When I wasn’t in the studio, I never left the house. I mean, never. Not even a tiptoe outside. I’d ask people who came inside why they were wet. Was it raining? How would I know—I had every shade closed. Most days were spent on the exact same spot on the couch and rarely would I muster up the energy to make it upstairs for bed. John would sleep on the couch with me, sometimes four nights in a row. I started keeping robes and comfy clothes in the pantry so I wouldn’t have to go upstairs when John went to work. There was a lot of spontaneous crying.
“Anytime I was seen out, it was because I had already had work or a work event that day. Meaning I wouldn’t have to muster up the energy to take a shower, because it was already done. It became the same story every day: Unless I had work, John knew there was not a chance in hell we were going on a date, going to the store, going anywhere. I didn’t have the energy.”
Teigen ends her essay with this heartfelt declaration:
“I’m grateful for the people around me. John has been incredible over the last nine months, bringing me my medicine and watching horrible reality TV with me. He is not the goofiest guy, but he has gone out of his way to indulge my sense of humor. When I was having a good day, he would go to Medieval Times with me and put on the crazy period hat! He sees how much my eyes light up when he does that stuff, and he knows that’s what I need. I know he must look over at times and think: My God, get it together. But he has never made me feel that way. He wants me to be happy, silly, and energetic again, but he’s not making me feel bad when I’m not in that place. I love John and Luna more than I can imagine loving anything, and John and I still hope to give Luna a few siblings. Postpartum hasn’t changed that.
“More than anything, I always want to have enough energy for Luna—to run up the stairs with her, to have tea parties with her. As she gets older, she’s becoming more and more fun. Her eyes are getting so wide, and I want to be there for those wide eyes. And I will be.
“Phew! I’ve hated hiding this from you.
XX, Chrissy “
What do you think? We wish Chrissy all the best for her new daughter, and hope her essay resonates with other mothers who have been frozen in time and saddled with muteness by postpartum depression.